Archive for November 28th, 2007

Wal-Mart Comes to Tadath!! ICS Forever!

November 28th, 2007 | Category: News

The ability of Wal-Mart to survive in the strangest places never ceases to amaze this reporter. All along the battle lines, as soon as the fighting is over, a Wal-Mart pops up to supply the remnants of the population.

This Galactic super giant moves in to small neighborhoods, in order to achieve Sam Walton’s dream of smashing the competition to bits. This grocery machine is so powerful that there have been talks of it simply buying some of the smaller colonies and pushing them into producing for the chain.

The management of the galactic incorporation says that the Imperial Center Store has nothing to fear from the shopping powerhouse, but looking at the record of this companies’ strategic insertions throughout the galaxy this reporter will definitely be building up his supply of ration packs.

Be on the lookout for tasty doughnuts and half wasted Troopers on the aisle 3 playing with the toy light sabers and throwing random goods in your hover buggy in the middle of the night.

It is very important to be sure to continue to support your local ICS, as, even though exclusively the Empire sanctions it, Wal-Mart still has more power behind its punch than almost any other corporation in existence.

The Wal-Mart Galactic Corporation boasts the most advanced inventory system in the Universe, and ever since they built that Space Factory full of droids, they have grown so far ahead of the competition as the low price leader that it would take three whole planets of slave labor to catch up with their production abilities.

Be there for the grand opening next week supporting your local ICS. There will be a large group of your fellow Troopers there showing their support of the ICS, and telling Wal-Mart that they can’t just come barging in.

As always, organizations who have been warned ahead of time about these support rallies tend to try hiring armed guards and security forces. Now I know that we, as VE Troopers can’t go in uniform, as it can’t be official, but we sure can hide a few surprises in our plain clothes, and I can’t imagine a security force that could hold back a dozen of us.

That being said, I urge you to come down and show your support for the ICS. We need to show Wally World that we don’t need their Ranch Style Beans and toilet paper, because Fury has us covered.

I know that I will be wearing my VE t-shirt. I will also be wearing my “Fury rules my wallet at the ICS!” button as well.

I will have a few more of these buttons available for the first twenty people or so there to help us let this money saving giant know who the real Shopping Empire is!

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