Archive for June, 2008

Galactic News Update

June 13th, 2008 | Category: News

This morning, a convoy of spice was viciously attacked by the Imperial Warlord. His name has not been released at this time, yet it is believed to be Teraloc. This group of terrorists decimated all 8 frigates, killing all 50 people on board the craft. The spice was en route to the planet Reegee, a planet filled with poverty. Expect more information about this horrific incident as it becomes available.

Another Imperial Warlord assaulted the Vast Empire controlled Yetton System. Kaph Squadron is believed to be in conflict above Yetton V’s small moon. The last received report showed promise. Eleven of the original forty-five Droid-manned TIE Star fighters remain, along with four CR90 Corvettes.

Nazgul Squadron suffered horrible loses as a Vast Empire Firebase: Calamis, exploded in close proximity to them during a heated conflict with the so-called Imperial Warlord Drakan. Five members of the Nazgul Squadron were gravely injured in the explosion. Over 500 brave Troopers lost their lives when the pretender to the Imperial Throne executed his dastardly plan. The Bannth system will be torn apart for quite some time due to the enormous amount of energy let out by destroying the stations reactor during the atrocious event.

The crime lord, Brrak Vrushekr, has been apprehended by authorities. He faces numerous accounts of murder along with spice smuggling and various minor charges.

The man accused of beating his wife to death with a lamp has been found guilty of 1st degree murder. Jrohnk Vaskli has been sentenced to death by a light bulb. His execution will begin at Twelve o’clock P.M. on Friday the thirteenth.

The oldest woman in the galaxy died today. Beatrice Ghrod was bungee jumping when the cable snapped. She fell five stories before slamming into the concrete surface below. Coroners are saying that she suffered a blood clot as she left the deck, effectively ending her life before the rope broke. She was 129 years of age.

In other news, the Galactic Decimators, a robotic football team, has disbanded. the coach, AE-129, had this to say, “The cost of keeping the robots in top shape along with the field they play on and the cost of traveling got to overwhelming for the owner. The robots will be auctioned off this Saturday starting at 4 P.M. galactic standard time.”

I am Stormz. You stay classy VE.

No comments