It is commonly known in the higher ranks of the Imperial Army that the nano-bots injected into newly inducted troopers are capable of a range of activities within its host.

These nano-bots are usually used for identification purposes so that if a trooper loses a limb in battle, the medics are able to see whose it is. But did you know that these same little bots are also capable of storing encrypted messages for pickup from the right officer?

Yes, that’s right! If you are sent on a mission to scrub the urinals and are not at your duty station, a high enough ranking officer could get a reading at the nearest glow box and BAM! You are now on triple urinal duty.

If you think that’s bad just imagine how much worse you will feel when you learn that the Empire keeps track of all of its’ troops through satellite tracking systems related to these nano-bots!

The Empire knows when you are sleeping. They know when you are awake. If they catch you at your girlfriends’ house, or anywhere else that you aren’t supposed to be, then you may be on bilge detail on some manure freighter headed to the Outer Rim!

The best advice for all of you, especially the new troops, is to stay put on base. Don’t enter any unauthorized areas, and for your own sake, sneak your girl into the barracks! Sure, you may have to hear your squad mates flirt with her a little (or try to live down a bad rep for the next four years or so) but I promise it’s worth it, especially if you are, like me, allergic to any assignment involving butt-mud.

Thanks for reading and keep up the good work!