As you may or may not know, having an Imperial Walker, or AT-AT shows that you are of the elite, and privileged few. These AT-AT’s are bred on Imperial Walker Farms and only the best stock is used for the Empire, the rest are sold to personal troops within the Empire, and the inbred ones are destroyed or de-weaponized and sold cheaply as farm hands to inbred farmers. That way, the inbred stay with the inbred, and the elite premier stay with the elite premier.

One kid has a dream. A dream to become elite, though his upbringing never saw reason to outfit him with his silver spoon. This poor kid has suffered longingly at the devastation caused by jealously watching as the elite roam around in their Imperial Walkers. This will just not do, and so he has decided to do something about it. That kid is Mako Sanguin.

Mako Sanguin is a poor kid from the streets. He is also somewhat new to the VE. His biggest dream is to have an Imperial Walker. His ultimate hope is to breed out the first Imperial Walker and start an Imperial Walker Farm. But he needs IC’s.

Any donation is appreciated, but remember that those things are expensive and hard to get.

Will you help make Mako’s dream come true?

Please send any donations for this cause to Mako Sanguin through the funds wire transfer service in the Galactic Bank. Who knows which one of your IC’s will be the one that solves his dilemma and cures his depression over being without an AT-AT? Thanks so much for your help with this sad disease.

Perhaps, with your charity, this could be Mako in only a few short months.

2 comments

This is a brief story about my own experiences in joining the VE. I will be honest throughout, but will not use names. There will be good, there will be bad, but it will be honest. You may choose to learn from it and help fix the few issues that I have found, or you may ignore it and decide that I am not worth the effort.

I would like to say, though, that my experiences with joining are probably shared by many new recruits. So here it goes.

I was wandering around the net trying to find a good game that would use up some of my time, allow me some creative input, if possible, and not demand too much from me.

I was interested in Star Wars, and was tired of playing Pirate Games. I had applied for Star Wars Combine, but was turned down for what I felt was a stupid reason: I don’t have (at least don’t use) a paid e-mail service. I have one with my Internet account, but by the time I was able to get into it I had already learned the basics of this group.

What I found was not a game, but an RPG story group, the Vast Empire. I was looking for some immediate gratification when roaming the net for a good group, but was willing to give this a few days because I saw that there was some type of economy involved (e.g. the stock market, store, paychecks, etc.) and that thought and effort had been heavily placed in this group.

I was somewhat confused as to what I was supposed to do (ok very confused) but decided to wade through it. I applied, waited, posted, read 20 emails in my box, all the while wondering what I was really supposed to be doing.

I finally found the Echelon training board, and proceeded to post my arrival. Over the next few days I tried to figure out the system. It appeared that I had to go through several ranks, but when I was done I would have a good idea of what I was doing. There would be some type of reference manual that would answer my questions, Mirc would allow real time interaction with people, and there was a storyboard for further character development.

I thought that this was a great idea, and it was just what I needed to get started well. I thought that perhaps we would do a practice story, build our writing skills, and learn the basics. It would be fun, but it would also be a real honor when we graduated, because we would no longer be n00bs. I anticipated my first experiences in Echelon with great hopes and pleasure.

I waited and checked, and checked and waited, and never saw another Echelon post that concerned me, or my next objective. I was disappointed and was close to just dropping the whole thing to go back to something else. At least I knew what to do on my Pirate Games.

After a few communications where I expressed confusion at what I was to do, I was sent an email that said to write a bio, with a link to a great bio for an example. I was thrilled to finally have something to do. I wrote a bio until 3 that morning, even though I had to go to work early the next day. I was excited at finally being able to participate.

The next day or so I was sent an email that said that I had graduated Echelon (even though I had only posted my “reporting for Duty” line, and nothing else) and was now a PFC and assigned to a squad. I had hoped to go through Echelon training, as I felt that it would give me a good understanding of the basics, but I was very excited at finally being a part of VE, even though I still didn’t know what we did.

As I tried to find myself on the squad roster I noticed that there were several squads that didn’t have enough troopers. I wondered why these squads weren’t condensed together to make several fully functional squads, and several empty ones for fill later. Not my concern I guess. I just assumed that there were reasons such as the probability that there could be more stories going on at once.

My first time on the Mirc was confusing at best. There were a few jerks around, and I was being one of them, because when I went in, there were endless streams of baseball talk, haggling of other players, and almost nothing to do with Star Wars or VE. It has since been my experience that this is just the way that the Mirc is, and that SW and VE talk isn’t so prevalent as someone talking about another topic.

The few times there has been VE talk, it has usually surrounded another current or former VE member getting slammed for stuff that probably shouldn’t be said in public, or at least not without them being around to defend themselves. I personally feel that if a member is no longer a member, then their name shouldn’t be brought up for purposes of ragging him/her in the public chat. Again, I am simply voicing my own opinion, and it is not anyone’s responsibility to respond to my own frustrations.

I received an email from my squad leader and later ran into him on the Mirc. Still not quite knowing what to do, I just explored the site, and all of the links, and tried to piece it together. Whenever I had a question, I asked it in the Mirc, and usually got berated for my troubles. This often led to me having brief quarrels with certain members, a few of whom I have since learned are pretty much just jerks anyway, but several of whom I learned were just taking their frustrations about the slightly shoddy system out on the n00b.

Upon my explorations throughout the site, I saw a very frank letter of resignation, in which there was a lot said that perhaps shouldn’t have been, and about five pages of people biting at each other. I didn’t know who any of these people were, but I chocked up my own difficult experiences with getting started to the same troubles that caused this giant argument.

I decided that the people behind VE actually cared about the group, as testified by all of the effort on the site, but that there were a few housekeeping issues and some things had been set aside and forgotten about. There were many pieces to try and figure out about.

I learned that there are whole sections that are unfilled, several squads without enough members, and postings that are a little out of date, and in some cases misleading posts on the homepage.

I learned that you can get IC’s from using Pay Per Click, and that there were only five openings in the VE Today for writers and that they paid 25 IC’s per word.

In the Mirc I was questioning the start of my squads’ story. There was a promised story coming and I was anxious to get into the swing of things on a quick assignment. I was given a Spec Story by one of the few people to be consistently nice to me in the Mirc lobby, and got started quickly, as I knew that I had limited time before my squad story and wanted to get it out of the way. I have written 4 or 5 spec stories now, a total of about 8000 words or so in the three weeks or so that I have been here,

I had had a few compliments on my Bio, and my Spec Story and decided that I could write a decent line of interesting crap every now and then, so I applied for the VE Today. I started at 5 IC’s a word. I was happy to be involved in the group, and that I finally had something to do besides write Spec Stories.

I got to thinking a few days later, after posting a few more stories on VE Today, and remembered the wage that was posted on the homepage. I went to the Mirc silently steaming, and waiting to talk to my boss. I was frustrated that I would be given such a wage per word when the homepage said 25 IC’s! I didn’t even have to follow a link to see the real wages that everyone was getting! Again, the same person who gave me my Spec Assignment steered me to the hidden entries in the ComNet that stated the real rates, and how to get a raise. The system seemed fair, you start out at a low wage, write enough words, you get a raise per word. No problem! You are able to earn increase and promo through doing what you were supposed to do anyway! That was a great idea. My problem wasn’t the wrong wage after all, it was that the article on the homepage said another price, was way outdated and not removed.

Later, I looked into the Engineering Corps, as my Spec Story is for Combat Engineer training and I though the two may be related (again, not enough explanation, and no reference book). I looked through the somewhat stagnant engineering corps, and saw that it was sort of a relic. It is not functional, apparently hasn’t been for some time, and the VE Today is apparently the only still functioning part. Why is it still there? Should it be removed until life can again be breathed into it? Not for me to say.

I have made a few friends here. I like the idea of the VE. It seems like a great big place that everyone can get together and hang out, talk about their favorite subjects, and share in a great experience. I have felt a sense of creativity wake in me that otherwise would have continued to be stifled in lieu of school and family life.

I did have a very tough time trying to get the hang of the system. I have been her for about three weeks and still no squad story. I truly feel that it is likely hard certain members to get motivated to squeeze out a story because they have been here while this Empire has wavered. I do not blame them for their writer’s block, but I assign an equal portion of their lack of a story to everyone in the VE, just like I do with every other problem I see. These “shares of fault” do include me, because, even though I have not been here long, I have not stated my issues with these problems before now.

There were many obstacles that I felt could have been removed or shouldn’t have been there. If it were my VE, I would definitely change some things. Removing out of date items and making it easier for new people to participate would be priority #1, then making the leftovers functional again. But it is not only my VE. I am a part, yes. I like it enough to put up with the troubles, or I wouldn’t be here. But it is your VE too. I would really like to see an honest effort to overhaul the site by everyone. How can the site be better? What were your own experiences? What is good about VE, what could be changed?

What can you personally do to fix it?

It would be a great effort on all involved to overhaul the site. There would be many people who were dissatisfied, but in the end, I think that it would pay off.

It is easy to assign blame. It can always be someone else’s fault. But it is much harder to assume responsibility.

Effectively, any trouble is everyone’s fault, and everyone’s responsibility. If you have had no trouble with the way things go, then this article is not for you. If, on the other hand, if you have ever thought to yourself: “I wish this worked differently,” then this article is for you.

I am hereby formally petitioning a request for all able bodied men and women to come up with a solution to the problem that bothers you most about the VE, and turn it in to the most appropriate ranking member. Notice here that I said “solution to the problem.” Telling someone about a problem never works. They would be crushed under the strain of every member complaining, it would turn into a fuss-fest, and nothing would be solved.

Even though I have only been here for three weeks, and haven’t even started a squad story yet, it is my VE. It is my responsibility, as it is yours, to make it better. So what shall we do? I am willing to help. Thank you for reading, and for caring about your VE.

P.S. I am turning my own solution suggestions in very soon. Thanks.

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You’re on a mission, you creep silently through the enemy base, dispatching any soul unlucky enough to cross your path. The halls are dim, the power long since cut by Team Beta, the only light source is the security checkpoint you’re moving towards. Your squad leader calls a halt, you have to find away around the checkpoint. One of your faceless comrades points to the ceiling, your squad leader nods and points at you, you let your weapon drop to your side and move over to the vent, one of your number gives you a boost and you crawl in.

It’s a proven fact that 87.32348% of all missions involving indoor environments enjoy a great reduction in completion time thanks to ventilation systems. Anyone who has been in the Vast Empire Stormtrooper Corps knows this. Every Trooper that has been here for any amount of time has spent a good deal of that time crawling though cramped but conveniently placed ventilation shafts. The convenient placing, size and lack of security equipment in said shafts makes the job of every soldier that has ever had to storm a base just a little bit easier.

Without having to engage the enemy as often or deal with locked doors or having to navigate confusing, winding hallways a missions time can be cut from half a day to a mere pair of hours. Where as all rebel hallways suffer from a lack of directions and guest signs it’s a well known fact that every ventilation system comes complete with maps every few intersections written in an easy to read large print and color coding.

Ventilation shafts have a plethora of methods for use. They can be used to escape imprisonment, get around a secure door, move about a building without alerting the enemy and for throwing really uncomfortable bachelor parties. Such luxuries with the New Republic bases has lead some of our more adventurous troops to attempt similar stunts around the Vast Empire infrastructure. However I feel it is my duty to inform the galaxy that it just doesn’t work the same. Our ventilation shafts are too small for an armored man, the grates are too difficult to get off without ruining the wallpaper and they just weren’t designed to hold that kind of weight, what is most likely to happen should one try it is that they will fall through the ceiling and become lodged in the piece of duct work. This would be awkward to explain should an MP or an officer happen by and could land an unfortunate trooper in the stockade.

Now your average soldier is merely thankful that such vents were so conveniently placed, but how many stop to thank the poor contractor that put it all together? He’s just an average working man (or creature) who may not have been able to pass the physical, or they finished their tour of duty, or possibly even a member of the underground resistance. But whoever they are they are showing their Imperial Pride and doing their part to aide in the march to the core. So next time you see a being walking down the street or in a bar who is obviously not part of the military try to refrain from calling them hippies and berating them for not joining the war effort. Instead buy him a drink and thank him for the color coded maps. Who knows, he might actually know what you’re talking about.

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– What is the VE Today?

– What does the VE Today mean to you?

– What does the VE Today mean to others?

These questions, and a few others, have been given to your VE Today authors so you, the Vast Empire, may see the personality behind the articles… perhaps put a soul behind the chunks of text you see on a weekly basis.

The questions I asked were the following:

1. Why did you want to join the VE Today?

2. What personal qualities do you have that you believe can benefit the VET?

3. Were there any inspirational individuals that provoked your interest in becoming an article writer?

4. Do you plan to write articles weekly, bi-weekly, or just whenever you get around to it?

5. For those thinking about joining the VET Team, what advice would you give?

6. Do you plan to participate in any of the other VET activities? (Web/Graphics design, etc.)

7. What suggestions do you have that you believe may benefit the VET?

8. What did you eat for breakfast?

*******************************
Max Fagron

1. I would like to join the VET to write lighter material, to get a break from day to day squadron writing and to make readers laugh.

2. I think that my writing skill may help the VET and I hope that my strange sense of humor will make people laugh.

3. I think Riqimo (Doc) inspired me wih his funny articles and made me want to write the same.

4. I plan to write at leat once a week, and more if possible.

5. I would say:

“Be funny, be thoughtful, be cool and be a damn good writer!”

6. I’m not sure if my system would support graphics design, but if i can participate in it or anything else of the kind, I will give my utmost.

7. I believe that more comic relief stories would give the VEt a friendlier air, and a story every week about each squad/squadron’s Story Post Site( a sort of “News on the March” sorta thing) and its progress would raise awareness about the big picture of the VE as a whole(especially during stories like Phase II).

8. Weetabix

Jersh

1. To relieve my boredom…. and i have been searching for a place to write about various star wars topics for some time now.

2. My writing skills, as well as an advisor to any real life situations. However I do not reccomend growing close to me 😛 hah, joking

3. Not really, only myself.

4. Once i find a proper subject to speak upon, weekly at the least.

5. Be sure you are ready to commit to the writing. Do not join to just get credits, you should write articles because you WANT to.

6. If they need my skills, yes I will help with what is within my capacity.

7. I do not know the system perfectly well yet, So i have no advice at this time.

8. I do not eat breakfast. It is a meal for the weak.

Sniping101

1. Clever ideas that didn’t have much use elsewhere.

2. All the little things that make me Snipes.

3. Me? Maybe H.S.T, he was quite the journalist.

4. On my own illogical and unknowable schedule

5. Wait for me to dissapear.

6. Who knows.

7. Haven’t been here long enough to have any idea.

8. Green eggs and ham, Sam I Am.

Kanderin Draken

1. Although I like it a little less than storywriting, formal/informal articles are what I’m probably best at writing. Plus I’ve had a lot of free time on my hands, the VET means I always have at least one thing to do.

2. I can get on well with most people, I’m not afraid of working hard, and I’m a decent writer.

3. I’m not sure how big they are over there, but the ‘Kerrang!’ magazine, surprisingly, has some awesome writers. They’re articles are genuinely funny, and the first time I picked up the magazine I was surprised at just how talented they were. It’s what I am for in my writing, a well written piece which makes people laugh.

4.Whenever I get around to it. Some days I have no time whatsoever, some days I have four or five hours free. I’ll do as much as I can.

5. Keep an eye on the comnet. Say if your writing something about a new squad, you should think about the people you want opinions from. If its a Wildcard Squad, Rizzit would probably be the best person for a comment. For the training purposes, probably Cosmic. Don’t run it all on your own opinion basically, make sure you get a range of people’s views.

6. I’m not a very good artist, so I wont be on the designing side. I am learning to code though, so the web might be an option in the time to come.

7. Genuine ranks might go down well. For example, you already have your ‘(VE-Army) Corporal’ tag underneath your avatar, maybe you could add a VET version. It makes the role more distinguishable, which makes it more attractive in turn.

Ranks? Umm…
Coffee boy/girl
Junior Reporter
Reporter
Senior Reporter
Editor
(That took me about twenty seconds to think up, its far from what I’d really consider. Just an example really.)

8. I skipped breakfast this morning. I got up late and had to rush out of the house for college. Nah actually, thats an excuse. Even if I was up on time, I normally skip breakfast. So sue me :p.

Raigen

1. I like to write, and this will give me a chance to jump outside the story writing that we usually do.

2. Good writer(for a public high school student).

3. Karl Marx, George Orwell.

4. Weekly, once I get my internet working.

5. Have a good grasp on essay writing.

6. Graphics design.

7. Have articals presented through a newsletter.

8. Reheated day old domino’s pizza sold at school for lunch.

ZaFo

1. I joined in my sleep it would seem, so my motives are unknown to me. I do enjoy writing and something other than Squad Stories would be a nice change.

2. I’ve been told that when I write, I’ve got a very distinct voice. It’s hard for me to use that voice in Squad Stories (who knows why), but I imagine in article writing it will be easier.

3. Uhh, I’m not to familiar with famous article writers. However, the late Kurt Vonnegut Jr. is source of inspiration for all my writing.

4. We shall see how things go, but It will probably be when I get around to it. Unless I get some awesome idea for a weekly/bi-weekly thing.

5. Speaking English is definitely an asset.

6. I don’t have any graphic designing software. If there are any free ones you know of I’d be willing to get into the long self-teaching process. Graphic designing is always something I wished I could do.

7. None at the time.

8. Ooo, caught me on a good breakfast day. Hash-browns, Eggs and Advil.

C-3PX2

1. To be able to write articles for the VE

2. Major Gaming and Technology, expect to see some articles on that stuff from time to time.

3. IDK 0.o

4. Mostly whenever i can get around to it

5. Be creative, creativity goes along way to making a great article.

6. 0.o Other VET activities, hmm…. probably

7. Add the VET to Imperial Trade :p

8. Bagles and Mountain Dew

*******************************

Thanks to those that joined the VE Today, participated in this questionnaire, and to those who will join the VE Today in the future.

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Unbeknowest to many of our members, the names of our stormtroopers, pilots, and other distinguished personnel are teaming with hidden meanings buried within the letters. What do these names hide? Ancient Secrets? Undiscovered treasure? The keys to our futures? Maybe even the meaning of life?

Quite the contrary, the names are filled with amour, or in Standard Galactic Basic, with love. In the words of Matthew Stover:

“The dark is generous, and it is patient, and it always wins – but in the heart of its strength lies weakness, one lone candle is enough to hold it back. Love is more than a candle. Love can ignite the stars.“

So what exactly about love is hidden in our names? Let us take a look at our beloved Grand Moff…

K.A.D.A.N.N. = Kinky Adonis Delivering Affection and Naughty Necking

Oh, quite a nice secret in his name, right ladies? Not only that, his worth is several billion Imperial Credits, and he is still a Single Dark Lord… 😉

Also of note is Kadbot:

K.A.D.B.O.T. = Kinky Adonis Deftly Bestowing Orgasmic Touches

This is one quite open to debate, and this reporter will leave it at that.

Now, here is not the only one in our humble little Vast Empire with such a name bursting with ‘love’

• D.U.R.A.N.D.A.L. = Dreamy Untamed Romeo Administering Naughty Delights and Arousing Loving
• N.A.M.Y.R. = Nocturnal Amorous Minx Yielding Recreation
• F.U.R.Y. = Fellow Undertaking Rapturous Yeses.
• W.I.L.L.T.C.O.N.Q. = Wonderful Ideal Lover Luxuriating in Thrilling Caresses and Overwhelming, Naughty Quickies
• Z.A.F.O. = Zestful Adonis Furnishing Orgasms
• A.T.R.I.C.K. = Adonis Tirelessly Rendering Intense Caresses and Kisses
• J.E.N.N.A.B.E.L.L.E. = Jealous Exciting Nonconformist Nicely Administering Breathtaking, Erotic Loving and Lustful Embraces
• S.A.P.H.I.R.A. = Seductress Adeptly Providing Hot Indulgence and Rapturous Affection
• M.E.R.R.I.C.K. = Minx Exchanging Rapturous Recreation and Intense, Carnal Kisses
• K.A.M.I. = Knockout Adeptly Made for Indulgence
• A.R.T.U.R.U.S. = Amorous Romeo Tirelessly Undertaking Recreation and Unrestrained Stimulation
• J.E.R.S.H. = Jewel Exchanging Rapturous Stimulation and Hugs
• S.N.I.P.I.N.G.(One)(Zero)(One) = Sexy Nocturnal Individual Pleasingly Imparting Naughty Gratification and Overwhelming, Zones of Orgasms
• M.A.K.O. = Man Administering Kisses and Orgasms
• S.K.A.R. = Stud Keen on Arousing Recreation
• R.E.M.L.U.F. = Romeo Exchanging Massage and Lustful, Unrestrained Fantasies
• E.V.I.S.C.A.R.E.S. = Exciting Virile Individual Supplying Carnal Affection and Rapturous, Erotic Stimulation
• C.O.S.M.I.C. = Charming One Skillfully Made for Intense Caresses
• A.L.A.T.E.R. = Amorous Lover Administering Touches and Erotic Recreation
• A.K.A.A.N. = Amorous Kinky Adonis Administering Necking
• T.H.A.N. S.I.O.N. = Tantalizing Handsome Adonis Needing Stimulation and Intense, Overwhelming Necking
• S.Y.L.I.X. = Stud Yielding Loving and Intense Xperiences
• A.E.O.S. = Angel Exchanging Orgasms and Stimulation
• C.A.R.N.O.N. = Charming Amorous Romeo Needing Orgasms and Necking
• A.R.N.A.U.T. = Adonis Rendering Naughty, Arousing, Unrestrained Touches
• U.R.A.K.A.I. = Untamed Romeo Administering Kisses and Arousing Indulgence
• R.I.Z.Z.I.T. = Romantic Individual Zealously Zapped by Intense Touches
• G.I.O.V.A.N.N.I. = Gorgeous Ideal One Volunteering Arousing Necking and Naughty Indulgence
• G.A.R.R.Y.L.L. = Gorgeous Amorous Romeo Readily Yielding Lustful Loving
• F.I.N.C.H. = Foxy Individual Needing Caresses and Hugs
• C.(Three).P.X.(Two). = Charming Treasure Providing Xperiences and Touches
• T.R.E.V.O.R. = Tantalizing Romeo Expertly Volunteering Orgasms and Recreation
• B.L.A.C.K.O.U.T. = Beguiling Lover Administering Carnal Kisses and Overwhelming, Unrestrained Touches
• M.A.R.K.A. = Marvelous Adonis Rendering Kisses and Affection
• R.E.N.J.I. = Romeo Exchanging Naughty Joy and Indulgence
• A.N.G.E.L. = Adonis Needing Gratification and Erotic Loving
• J.E.L.L.Y. B.E.A.N. = Jealous Exciting Lover Luxuriating in Yummy Backrubs and Erotic, Arousing Necking
• S.P.A.R.T.A.N.(One)(Zero)(Six) = Sexy Playful Adonis Readily Trained for Arousing, Naughty Orgasms and Zones of Stimulation
• D.A.R.R. R.A.N.N. = Dreamy Amorous Romeo Rendering Recreation and Arousing, Naughty Necking
• T.O.K.I.J.I.N.: Temptress Obligingly Keen on Intense Joy and Impassioned Necking
• A.L.A.N.R.J. = Adonis Luxuriating in Arousing, Naughty, Rapturous Joy
• L.A.M.E.L.E.V.A.S. = Luscious Amorous Minx Exchanging Lustful Embraces and Velvety, Arousing Stimulation
• J.A.P.H.E.T.H. = Jealous Adonis Providing Hot Embraces and Thrilling Hugs
• T.A.L.O.N. = Tantalizing Adonis Luxuriating in Orgasms and Necking
• R.O.G.U.E.B.O.Y. = Romantic One Gladly Undertaking Erotic Backrubs and Overwhelming Yeses
• S.A.P.H.I.R.A. = Seductress Adeptly Providing Hot Indulgence and Rapturous Affection
• C.A.S.C.A. = Charming Adonis Supplying Caresses and Affection
• M.A.X. F.A.G.R.O.N. = Marvelous Adonis Xuberantly Furnishing Arousing Gratification and Rapturous, Overwhelming Necking
• A.P.H.A.M.O.S. = Amorous Playful Hunk Adeptly Made for Orgasms and Stimulation
• L.E.O.N. = Lover Exchanging Orgasms and Necking
• D.E.J.A.N. T.U.C.O. = Dreamy Exciting Jewel Administering Naughty Touches and Unrestrained, Carnal Orgasms
• J.O.A.M.E.R. = Jewel Offering Arousing Massage and Erotic Recreation
• D.E.C.E.M.B.R.I.S.T. = Dreamy Exciting Casanova Expertly Made for Breathtaking, Rapturous Indulgence and Sensual Touches
• W.I.C.K.E.T. = Wonderful Individual Conferring Kisses and Erotic Touches
• H.E.L.L.K.I.T.E. = Handsome Exciting Lover Luxuriating in Kisses and Intense, Thrilling Embraces
• R.I.K.E. M.A.L.E.N. = Romantic Ideal Knockout Expertly Made for Arousing Loving and Erotic Necking
• S.A.N.D.W.I.C.H. S.A.M. = Sexy Amorous Nonconformist Deftly Winning Intense Caresses and Hot, Sensually Affectionate Man
• G.K.(Eight)(Seven)(Four). = Gorgeous Knockout Exchanging Stimulation and Fantasies
• I.S.A.D.O.R.A. = Ideal Seductress Adeptly Delivering Orgasms and Rapturous Affection
• V.E.R.L.O.C.K. = Virile Exciting Romeo Luxuriating in Orgasms and Carnal Kisses
• L.U.C.K.Y.S.T.A.R. = Luscious Untamed Cutie Keen on Yummy Stimulation and Thrilling, Arousing Recreation
• T.A.N.U.S. = Tantalizing Adonis Needing Unrestrained Stimulation
• A.L.E.I.A. = Amorous Lover Exchanging Intense Affection
• J.A.D.E.N. = Jealous Adonis Deftly Exchanging Necking
• T.O.M.A.S. = Tantalizing One Made for Arousing Stimulation
• D.H.A.R. L.E.T.H. = Dreamy Handsome Adonis Readily Luxuriating in Erotic Touches and Hugs
• D.A.N.T.E. = Dreamy Adonis Needing Touches and Embraces
• S.H.A.Z.A.M. = Sexy Handsome Adonis Zealously Administering Massage
• H.A.S.H.I. = Hunk Administering Sensual Hot Indulgence
• K.A.N.D.E.R.I.N. = Kinky Adonis Needing Delightful Embraces and Rapturous, Intense Necking
• L.K.(Four)(Eight)(Six) = Lover Keen on Fantastic Erotic Stimulation
• K.R.I.U.S. = Kinky Romeo Incomparably Undertaking Stimulation
• C.Y.L.E.A.F. = Charming Your Lover Exchanging Arousing Fantasies
• R.I.Q.I.M.O. = Romantic Individual Qualified for Intense Massage and Orgasms
• O.R.O.B.O.S. = One Rendering Orgasms and Breathtaking, Overwhelming Stimulation

Why stop with current members? Let us look into a few of our past ones…

• R.I.E.L. F.U.R.Y. = Romantic Individual Exchanging Lustful Fantasies and Unrestrained, Rapturous Yeses
• E.X.A.R. K.U.N. = Exciting Xhibitionist Adeptly Rendering Kisses and Unrestrained Necking
• R.A.X.E.N. = Romantic Adonis Xuberantly Exchanging Necking
• D.A.R.K.H.A.W.K. = Dreamy Amorous Romeo Keen on Hugs and Arousing, Warm Kisses
• S.T.O.N.E.F.I.S.H. = Sexy Tantalizing One Needing Erotic Fantasies and Intense, Sensual Hugs
• M.E.G.A.D.E.T.H. = Man Expertly Giving Arousing Delights and Erotic, Thrilling Hugs
• S.T.O.R.M.I.E. = Stud Tirelessly Offering Rapturous Massage and Intense Embraces
• G.A.R.E.T. = Gorgeous Adonis Readily Exchanging Touches
• K.E.E.F. = Knockout Exchanging Erotic Fantasies
• A.M.A.S.O.N. = Adonis Made for Arousing Stimulation and Overwhelming Necking

IRC nicknames…

• S.A.I.N.T. = Stud Administering Intense Naughty Touches
• T.R.U.T.H. = Tantalizing Romeo Undertaking Touches and Hugs
• S.A.P.H. = Seductress Adeptly Providing Hugs
• S.N.I.P.E.S. = Stud Needing Intense Pleasure and Erotic Stimulation
• G.R.U.N.T.Y. = Gorgeous Romeo Undertaking Naughty Touches and Yeses
• D.A.X. = Dreamy Amorous Xhibitionist
• S.A.L.F. = Stud Administering Loving and Fantasies
• T.H.E.B.A.R.D. = Tantalizing Hunk Exchanging Backrubs and Arousing, Rapturous Delights

Or perhaps we can go even farther…

• P.A.L.P.A.T.I.N.E. = Playful Amorous Lover Providing Arousing Touches and Intense, Naughty Embraces
• D.A.R.T.H. V.A.D.E.R. = Dreamy Amorous Romeo Tirelessly Hungering for Velvety, Arousing Delights and Erotic Recreation
• Y.O.D.A. = Yearner Offering Delights and Affection
• T.A.R.K.I.N. = Tantalizing Adonis Rendering Kisses and Intense Necking
• L.U.K.E. S.K.Y.W.A.L.K.E.R. = Lover Undertaking Kisses and Embraces, Sexy and Kinkily Yearning to Willingly Administer Lustful Kisses and Erotic Recreation
• O.B.I. W.A.N. = One Bestowing Intense, Warm, Arousing Necking

Well, there you have it, a glimpse at the vast amounts of love hidden in this Galaxy, and ladies remember that I am a Dreamboat Offering Caresses

~Doc

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There is some speculation about Grand Moff Kadann having a man crush on Ewan McGregor. After some researching, this reporter is here to dispel some of the rumor, and leave a question lingering in your mind.

There are reports that there were several questions posted on Star Wars Trivia about Ewan McGregor. After some research, this reporter was able to discover the truth behind this claim.

There were in fact four questions asked about Ewan McGregor, not the character Obi-Wan, but the actor himself. They read as follows:

“Who portrays the younger version of a character originally played by Sir Alec Guinness? (Actor name)”

“What Episode I star was six years old when the original Star Wars film was first released?”

“What Episode I star is the real-life nephew of Dennis “Wedge Antilles” Lawson?”

“What Episode I star has been called “the biggest thing out of Scotland since argyle socks”?”

What was the answer to all of these?

That’s right! Ewan McGregor! Is this a hint to the true feelings of our Dark Lord?

You must be the judge.

There are also rumors that Grand Moff Kadann calls Ewan McGregor “Ewie” while imagining them roaming the galaxy together, crossing sabers with whoever stand in their way, but this is all unconfirmed speculation.

There are several questions that yearn to be answered though:

If this really were a man-crush, would “Ewie” be our Dark Lord’s Padawan?

And is “Ewie” even worthy of our Dark Lords tender affections?

I’ll let you be the judge, but I believe that this is one piece of gossip that we all must keep an eye on.

(Disclaimer: This article is meant to be in good fun, and is not meant to be an insinuation about Kadann or his personal life. If you can’t laugh at this, or take offense, then you should seek counseling immediately or grow a power mullet and start saving for an ‘83 Firebird.)

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Last night we were introduced to a whole new level of immersion into the Vast Empire. Grand Moff Kadann introduced to us Star Wars Trivia.

Who was the first character to die in the Star Wars Movies? How many lights are on Darth Vader’s stomach plate? Who was hiding in the closet for the shower scene in Episode III? (Ok, there was no shower scene).

If you think you know the Star Wars Universe better than the next person, there are plenty of credits in it for you.

Grand Moff Kadann is passing IC’s out like candy. One person won 500,000IC’s just hours after the trivia was conceived! That Trooper, who will remain anonymous, reported that it was the easiest money they had made since the JK2 Tournament!

One lucky winner got 1,000,000 IC’s.

The rates seem to pay at 100,000 IC’s per right answer, first to get it right.

So blow the dust off of your Storm Trooper Armor, stop using your DVD of Episode I as a beer coaster, and bone up on your trivia facts! You never know what question may make you rich!

Need a new AT-AT? Looking for money to start your very own sniper droid army (to protect your brand new refresher booth of course)? Well look no further!

Get in on the Star Wars VE Trivia at http://comnet.imperialnetwork.com/topic/8822/page/0/.

Hope to see you there!

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Halo 3 is taking its toll on the storyboards. Young squad captains from all over the VE are addicted to this foreign drug, and it is creating a new style of warfare that the Empire is not used to.

When there is a problem in the galaxy, you can usually count on the Empire to send the “White Terror” to smash it. But how will we deal with a problem from another universe?

Endless brigades of Storm Troopers will do no good against the lure of Master Chief and his enviable army of distracted young writers. One Imperial, who will remain anonymous, reported that they love to play Halo 3, and even though they get bored with it easily, they must return every hour or so.

With so much time demanded of our leaders from this new “Cold War” scourge, how will the VE Storyboards survive this plague?

There are tumbleweeds growing in the storyboards, and as we all know, idle hands are the Devil’s playthings. There have even been some new recruits to talk of creating their own sub-story simply to pass the time.

This reporter suggests that inactive troops start a war games storyline, or at least clean their barracks. You can only field strip your E-11 so many times after all, and building a useless army of Sniper Droids gets old, and expensive.

So, if you don’t want to create war games, or clean your barracks, or build new weapons, then I suggest playing the lotto, dabbling in the stock market, or heading on down to the old Imperial Center Store for some towels and cardboard tubes to cure the boredom. Nothing like a base-wide towel fight to burn off that extra idle energy.

Have a great week and enjoy!

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It is commonly known in the higher ranks of the Imperial Army that the nano-bots injected into newly inducted troopers are capable of a range of activities within its host.

These nano-bots are usually used for identification purposes so that if a trooper loses a limb in battle, the medics are able to see whose it is. But did you know that these same little bots are also capable of storing encrypted messages for pickup from the right officer?

Yes, that’s right! If you are sent on a mission to scrub the urinals and are not at your duty station, a high enough ranking officer could get a reading at the nearest glow box and BAM! You are now on triple urinal duty.

If you think that’s bad just imagine how much worse you will feel when you learn that the Empire keeps track of all of its’ troops through satellite tracking systems related to these nano-bots!

The Empire knows when you are sleeping. They know when you are awake. If they catch you at your girlfriends’ house, or anywhere else that you aren’t supposed to be, then you may be on bilge detail on some manure freighter headed to the Outer Rim!

The best advice for all of you, especially the new troops, is to stay put on base. Don’t enter any unauthorized areas, and for your own sake, sneak your girl into the barracks! Sure, you may have to hear your squad mates flirt with her a little (or try to live down a bad rep for the next four years or so) but I promise it’s worth it, especially if you are, like me, allergic to any assignment involving butt-mud.

Thanks for reading and keep up the good work!

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• Did you know… that Ewan “Obi-Wan” McGregor is the nephew of Denis Lawson, who played the pilot Wedge Antilles in the original Star Wars trilogy.
• Did you know… that aliens, the same species as E.T., can be seen in the senate, right after Queen Amidala calls for a vote of no confidence in chancellor Valorum’s leadership.
• Did you know… that Lucas ends the dialogue in the Phantom Menace like a Shakespearean play, with a rhyming couplet: “Always two there are, no more, no less: a master and an apprentice.” “But which was destroyed? The master or the apprentice?”
• Did you know… that Queen Amidala protects herself by posing as one of her own underlings? The same ploy was used by the President of the United States in Superman II (1980) to conceal his identity from General Zod, played by Terence Stamp – who plays Chancellor Valorum in the Phantom Menace.
• Did you know… that “Attack of the Clones” was filmed on the very same sound stage as “Moulin Rogue!”, in which Ewan McGregor also had a lead role.
• Did you know… that “Padme” is a common word in Buddhism and is Sanskrit for “lotus”? “Yoda” is also derived from the Sanskrit word for “warrior.”
• Did you know… that Natalie Portman (Queen Amidala) missed the premiere party in New York because she had to go home to study for her high school final exams
• Did you know… that in The Empire Strikes Back, Mark Hamill had to bang his head 16 times on the ceiling of Yoda’s hut before the director was satisfied. (Ouch!)
• Did you know… that you can see the “Star Wars Pod Racer” game on the left most screen in the bar where Anakin chases Padmés would-be assasin?
• Did you know... that when they filmed the fighting scenes in Phantom Menace – Ewan McGregor made lightsaber noises as he dueled? It was noticed only afterwards and had to be edited out in post production.
• Did you know… a pod from the Discovery in 2001:A Space Odyssey can be seen behind Qui-Gon in Watto’s junkyard.
• Did you know… that Carrie Fisher was 19 when she filmed Star Wars : A New Hope? That’s the same age her mother, Debbie Reynolds, was when she filmed “Singin’ in the Rain” with Gene Kelly
• Did you know… that for some shots at the podrace in Phantom Menace – thousands of colored Q-Tips were used to pose as the audience? Enough Q-Tips to last a normal person dozens of lifetimes.
• Did you know… that 2 to 3 spraycans a day were used on Chewie’s face mask alone to keep all the long furr in place.
• Did you know… that before Natalie Portman was cast for her role as Queen Amidala in Star Wars : Episode I, she had never seen the original 3 Star Wars movies.
• Did you know… that the Ewoks sing in Swedish? In the chorus for the end title song they sing “Det luktar flingor här” which means “it smells like cereal here”.
• Did you know… that “Attack of the clones” is the first movie where Yoda is completely computer animated? Frank Oz was available on the set, but only as an aid to the actors with his voice.
• Did you know… that Nien Numb is speaking a Kenyan dialect? What he says to Lando is in fact: “One thousand herds of elephants are standing on my foot”.
• Did you know… that Qui-Gon Jinn’s communicator is a razor for women (Sensor Excel) that’s been painted and redecorated.
• Did you know… that James Earl Jones, who provided the powerful voice of Darth Vader, used to take acting classes to control his stutter.
• Did you know… that even David Prowse, who played Darth Vader, didn’t know he was Luke’s father until the opening of the movie? Director Irving Kerschner had only told him to make a fist and look angry.
• Did you know that… “In the first film, I had to wear that white dress and I couldn’t wear a bra. Everything was bouncing around, so I had to wear gaffer’s tape for three months to keep my breasts down. A new crew member used to come up every day and get to rip it off.” – Carrie Fisher (Rolling Stone July 24, 1980)

(Pulled from various interviews with crew and/or cast)

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